'Til death do us part - or maybe just until I don't like the arrangement anymore

Today, a student made a comment about how it's sad that nobody stays together anymore (this was random and unsolicited) so I told her "I'm staying married."

The kids countered, "You don't know that."

So I said, "Yes, I do. I'm staying married."

As the first girl was about to speak again, another spoke up in my defense but all she said was that she's seen us together and we're inseparable so of course we’re staying married.* I quickly changed the topic and moved on with class.  

 I had forgotten it until I got home tonight and logged into Facebook. I saw that a dear former student wrote something about tattoos. Get your father’s or son’s name tattooed on you. These guys will stay, she argued. She doesn’t think girls should tattoo their boyfriend’s name on them. This didn’t surprise me at all since it has been bantered about by my students throughout the years that if you get a tattoo of your significant other, you are destined to break up. And heck, I support that sentiment. What shocked me (and then only for a minute) was that she lumped husbands in there with the boyfriends! “- they come and go.”

It all has me thinking: What do kids think about marriage in the first place these days? That you just marry somebody and maybe you like them, maybe you don't? At least you get a heck of a party out of the deal? Maybe some kids?

Unfortunately, so many kids are the product of a marriage that ended poorly. Just a thought, though: People talk about a broken marriage but it is rare that they acknowledge that the marriage wasn’t what was broken but rather the two people in it. 

The best predictor of whether or not a couple will stay married is each individual's attitude toward marriage. If you go into it thinking, "If it doesn't work out, I'll just get a divorce," you're probably going to end up divorced because marriage is tough. But go into it with the idea that you're going to stick it out no matter what and you’ve got a fighting chance in a world that wants you to believe that options are better than commitment. My husband and I don’t always agree and marriage isn’t always butterflies and picnics by the lake. It is a daily choice to love one another through our sins (because nobody is perfect) and still stand side by side. 

I hope my kiddos will see that and I hope they'll come to understand that marriages don't have to end if you don't want them to. It's the only way we'll start reversing the current trend. 

Mrs. V

*NOTE: We do NOT kiss and hug in front of the kids but we DO try to be a good couple role model for them because a lot of them have only seen their parents’ marriage and that didn’t work out so that is all they have seen.

**If you are being abused or feel your life is in danger, please seek help. It is NEVER okay for someone to damage anyone else.