Okay, I'm coming upon my sixth complete month as Mrs. V, and I have to say - I STILL don't know what's up with men. Not that I really thought the two rings on my left ring finger would unlock the door to understanding men. I knew better than that. They're just so. . . mysterious. And not in a James Bond sort of way. They're more like Carrot Top mysterious.
Since my mother taught school and my dad ran a consulting firm out of our house, I was hanging out with the guys as my nearest playmate growing up was my brother. I'm trying to say that, in spite of having an opportunity to study the opposite sex up close and personal for most of my life, and in spite of having lived with one particular man in the sacrament of marriage for nearly six months, men are still an enigma.
Why, for example, do they love all-you-can-eat buffets? What is keeping them from going to the doctor when they're clearly ill? Why do they love sports, regardless of what it is or in what form (live, televised, dvd, based-on-true-events movies, video games)? Why can't they endure a touchy-feely conversation for more than maybe 10 minutes at a time?
I know, I know. Some of you are saying that your man hates sports. Or abhors the all-you-can-eat-buffet. Or maybe you know a guy who doesn't mind listening to you prattle on about what she said to him about such-and-such for hours at a time. Goodness knows, there ARE guys out there like that.
But since I've joined the married club, I've noticed that the things about Mr. V that cause me to tilt my head to the side and say "huh?" are the same things that my married and dating friends wonder about. And some of my friends want to change their men. I don't. Not really. I have a friend at work who says "well, you married him!" if I ever express my wonder or curiosity about things my guy does. I know who I married and I accepted him for who he is before I walked down that aisle. I just don't get a few things. That's all.
If anyone out there can explain any of these things to me or would like to form some sort of support group for Women Married to Mysteries, please let me know. Maybe we can work out a secret codes for "Save me! My husband is dragging me to a monster truck rally!" and "I can't take any more Cici's Pizza! I need some real food!!!!"
I'm just sayin'.
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